Southern Women

Southern women know their summer weather report:

Humidity

Humidity

Humidity



Southern women know their vacation spots:

The beach

The rivuh

The crick



Southern women know everybody's first name:

Honey

Darlin'

Shugah



Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:

Fried Green Tomatoes

Driving Miss Daisy

Steel Magnolias

Gone With The Wind



Southern women know their religions:

Baptist

Methodist

Football



Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:

Chawl'stn



S'vanah

Foat Wuth

N'awlins

Addlanna



Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:

Men in uniform

Men in tuxedos

Rhett Butler



Southern girls know their prime real estate:

The Mall

The Country Club

The Beauty Salon



Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:

Having bad hair and nails

Having bad manners

Cooking bad food



More Suthen-ism's:

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a

conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you
"PITCH" them.

_____



Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, =


peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

_____



Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction =


of"yonder."

_____



Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as =
in:
"Going to

town, be back directly."

_____



Even Southern babies know that"Gimme some sugar" is not a =
request
for the

white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in =
the

middle of the table.

_____



All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might =
not
use the

term, but they know the concept well.

_____



Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace =
for

a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big =
bowl

of coldpotato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they =
also

know to add a large banana puddin!

_____



Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right
near" and

"a right far piece." They also know that"just down the
road" can be 1

mile or 20

_____



Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between =
a

redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

_____



No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing =
turn

signal is actually going to make a turn.

_____



A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a =
verb, or
an

adverb.

_____



Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when =
we're

"in line,"... we talk to everybody!

_____



Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're =


related, even if only by marriage.

_____



In the South, y'all is singular, all y'allis plural.

_____



Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

_____



Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee =
are

perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and =
that

fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

_____



When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," =
you
know you

are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

_____



Only true Southerners say "sweet tea"and "sweet =
milk."
Sweet tea

indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea =


unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk. =


_____



And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old =


ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her
heart" ...

and go your own way.

_____



To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your

Southerness:Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and =
call me in


the

morning. Bless your heart!

_____

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all =


this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to =
have

classes on Southernness as a second language!

_____



And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a =
long

time, all y'all need is a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that =
reads
"I

ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."





Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah ! =




Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or =
wish

they had been! If you're a Northern transplant,bless your little =
heart,

fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could